The funeral for "Butterflies" younger brother is today,
inside I bleed for her and her family.
But this is one part of the grief that I cant really remember..

I only remember fragments from Alex funeral (for new readers Alex is my brother who aint amongst us anymore, in the start of the blog you will find some posts about him).
I remember the coffin, and I remember there was a large window towards the forrest there.
I remember one of his friends good byes and my Grandpa saying good bye..

I have a vague memory of crying helplessly, but Im not sure anymore if I did.
I remember some  friends of my mother standing outside as we were leaving the place,
and I remember two songs from the ceremony.
I remember the dress I was wearing..
I  remember small details but not the whole picture,
just small fragments.

That can bother me alot from time to time, I want to remember everything,
most likely because the memories is all I have left from Alex.
Yet they are weaker by the day,
no matter how much I struggle to remember it seems I forget more and more.
I suppose its a struggle against time,
and I suppose I wont win.