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Sunday, December 25, 2011

Being strong for someone else..

Is it to not show at all that you you let things happening around you get to you?
That you can be that person to lean on?

I`m not so sure about that, I mean, when my brother died, my boyfriend who was involved the whole process never shut a dear, and didnt mention anything about it at all and I suppose it was meant to be so that I could show my emotions and cry and still know he would be standing strong.

Thats not how I took it tho.
I felt even more alone by the way he was handling stuff.
Felt like i was talking to a wall and that noone saw my tears.
In the end I didnt show him the tears running down my face, I only cried when I was alone at home or in the nighttime.. And boy did I cry!

I could cry so much my body was shaking and I couldnt breathe for months after but only when I was alone.
Luckily for me I had friends supporting me, they were really great, I pushed alot of them away I`m afraid but I couldnt see that then.
And now, well they have moved on and I have new friends thatr really brings warmth into my life.

Its hard tho, to handle someone in grief, and alot of people get scard7ed and dont know how to act around that person. I think its therefor they sometimes try to avoid that person. Its easier that way.. For them atleast.. Maybe not for the person that they are avoiding.
They know know already they aint easy to deal with, belive me, they know that repeating the same thing about the person that they are lost will make other people sick of them in the end, but still they have the urge to talk about it.

Or, not talk at all about it.
Pretend it never happened. And the people that pretend it didnt happen, carry on their life the same way it was before their loss. Going to parties and so on are often being accused instead by people around them for being cold and so on..

Skip the blame people, the loss is still something they struggle with on the inside, maybe its just easier to hide it for the moment?

Take a minute - Think about it!

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