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Wednesday, December 21, 2011

When can you laugh again?

After a familymember has passed away the family is often left with alot of questions like why and so on.
Its an traumatic experience that truly is hard to live thru, I should know, I have been there.

There is alot of questions frequently asked to the people that is still alive aswell.
Like Why did this happen, how to arrange the funeral and such things.
But then there is also questions that the ones left asks themselves and those are not always easy to answer.

Like, when is it ok to laugh again?

Somewhere in all the tragedy its easy to feel guilty about being the one still living.
The ones left often feels like they would do anything to bring the dead one back to life again, even trade places with the person.

After my brother passed away it took a long while before I went out dancing again, and when I did it felt really wrong. I remember that I wonder what people that were out and knewwhat had happened thought about me.
My brother is dead and there i walk around partying.
And Im rather sure some people actually DID think like that.
It took a couple of times of beeing out before I realised that it was up to me when to stop mourning in public.
It was up to me if I would just let the sadness win over me and take over my life.
And the only one with a right to judgeme was.. -me.

I could easily have given up on life. Kept staying inside crying all day and most of the nights,.
But it wasnt fair, not to my son, not to me and not to the rest of my family but most important..

..it wasnt fair to my beloved brother.
He wouldnt have wanted me to stay inside and watching the world carry on without me.
The moment I realised all this I also started seeing the sorrow as an enemy,
I had never let anyone win over me before so why would I start now.

How long do you think it should take for life to become "normal" again after someone has passed away?
Do we owe the ones thats in heaven to appreciate life maybe even more?

Take a minute - Think about!




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